Let me preface this by saying I have all kinds of ministry related things I could blog about right now, but this is what is on my mind so this is what is being written.
I woke up this morning feeling sad about not having kids/ quite possibly not ever having biological children. This then brings about the thoughts of where in the world will we come up with the $30,000+ to adopt a child? People try to tell you to be patient, but what I've learned are the people that say that have never had a hard time getting pregnant. It's hard to be patient. So, what I decided to do this morning was to stop moping, (another skill I've learned since all of this started a few years ago) get up and enjoy the quiet house that will cease when/if we have children.
As I was getting my coffee, I looked up at the cabinet door that I keep my spices in and read the verse I have taped on it. (I tape Bible verses that we are wanting to memorize in various places in my house and switch them out from time to time, sometimes I succeed in memorizing them, sometimes they just serve as encouragement - I highly recommend it!) The verse I looked at this morning was Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." God's plan for my life is so much bigger/better than I can comprehend. He knows what he's doing! Even though all I can think about right now is how I want to have children and stay at home to take care of them and help my husband at the church; God sees the entirety of my life in one glance and knows what is best for me and what I can handle.
In January, as I was looking back on the seemingly tough year we had had in one aspect, I realized the immense amount of blessings God has given us and will continue to give us - children or not!
Jesus in John 16:33 "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."